I've been meaning to write this dream down for a while and believe this is the perfect place for it...during the first trimester of my pregnancy I began to have strange dreams. Though I haven't had many weird dreams since around that time. So here is the dream...keep in mind this was a very vivid dream...
My dreams begins with me (I'm pregnant) being in a really bad car accident. I was rushed to the hospital and they weren't sure I would make it. The doctors reported I was in a coma and more than likely wouldn't come out of it and possibly had severe brain damage. My family wanted to keep me alive on a ventilator so the baby could continue growing until the doctors could deliver him safely. (Apparently I watch too much TV, lol) While in my coma...I find myself in a beautiful field all alone or so I thought. Jesus walks up to me, yes I was in shock in my dream, and he begins to talk to me. I ask him to not save me but to heal my nephew. (My nephew has been diagnosed a brain disorder) Jesus says he won't do that. And I of course argue why he should. Knowing that my baby will have family to care for him and I wanted my nephew to not struggle anymore and be able to do everything and anything he has ever wanted to do without pain or struggle. Jesus then explains to me that my nephew, Jonah, will do great things given his disability and will change lives. But my son needs to grow up with his mom. I begin to cry of course...I then find myself awake in a hospital room with doctors and my family surprised. My dream ends.
I have no doubt that night I really talked to Jesus. I have no doubt that I would give up my life to make my nephews better even knowing my son would grow up without me. If you know me well enough you know that my nephew and I are close and he will always have a special place in my heart! Because I know my family would take care of him just as I would and he would be great! I have no doubt that what God told me in that dream was truth...a) my nephew will do great things and change lives no matter his disability b) my son deserves to have his mom and God knows I will be a great mom and it is my time to be a mom.
I have learned I shouldn't doubt my circumstances and God will provide and be there for me every step of the way. I'm going to be a mom and it may not be under the circumstances that most would want for me but I'm still going to make it. Being a parent is hard single or with someone, but I can still do it. I realize the hardships that are ahead of me and I'm going to be ok. Jesus came to me that night for a reason...to let me know he loves me and is here for me every step of the way. I have nothing to be shameful about but to be proud to be a mommy.
Tear. But really that is awesome. I believe in my heart that your dream is accurate. Thanks for the encouragement and reminder. Jonah is lucky to have you as his aunt, I am lucky to call you my sister, and Baby Boy is lucky to have you as his Mommy. Love you sister!
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