Crazy dream

I've been meaning to write this dream down for a while and believe this is the perfect place for it...during the first trimester of my pregnancy I began to have strange dreams. Though I haven't had many weird dreams since around that time. So here is the dream...keep in mind this was a very vivid dream...

My dreams begins with me (I'm pregnant) being in a really bad car accident. I was rushed to the hospital and they weren't sure I would make it. The doctors reported I was in a coma and more than likely wouldn't come out of it and possibly had severe brain damage. My family wanted to keep me alive on a ventilator so the baby could continue growing until the doctors could deliver him safely. (Apparently I watch too much TV, lol) While in my coma...I find myself in a beautiful field all alone or so I thought. Jesus walks up to me, yes I was in shock in my dream, and he begins to talk to me. I ask him to not save me but to heal my nephew. (My nephew has been diagnosed a brain disorder) Jesus says he won't do that. And I of course argue why he should. Knowing that my baby will have family to care for him and I wanted my nephew to not struggle anymore and be able to do everything and anything he has ever wanted to do without pain or struggle. Jesus then explains to me that my nephew, Jonah, will do great things given his disability and will change lives. But my son needs to grow up with his mom. I begin to cry of course...I then find myself awake in a hospital room with doctors and my family surprised. My dream ends.

I have no doubt that night I really talked to Jesus. I have no doubt that I would give up my life to make my nephews better even knowing my son would grow up without me. If you know me well enough you know that my nephew and I are close and he will always have a special place in my heart! Because I know my family would take care of him just as I would and he would be great! I have no doubt that what God told me in that dream was truth...a) my nephew will do great things and change lives no matter his disability b) my son deserves to have his mom and God knows I will be a great mom and it is my time to be a mom.

I have learned I shouldn't doubt my circumstances and God will provide and be there for me every step of the way. I'm going to be a mom and it may not be under the circumstances that most would want for me but I'm still going to make it. Being a parent is hard single or with someone, but I can still do it. I realize the hardships that are ahead of me and I'm going to be ok. Jesus came to me that night for a reason...to let me know he loves me and is here for me every step of the way. I have nothing to be shameful about but to be proud to be a mommy.

This is my baby bump at 17 weeks. Currently I'm in week 18! I'll update my baby bump as it gets bigger, its been a slow process!

Ultra Sound Day

I was so nervous the night before my ultra sound. I had been hoping and praying for a girl. I have had a baby name for a girl for YEARS and couldn't wait to use it. I knew I would be happy boy or girl but my heart was set on a girl. So the day arrived for my appointment. My parents and my sister met me for lunch before we went to my appointment, it was a good distraction! We didn't wait long at the doctor's office before going into for the ultra sound. I was extremely grossed out by the goo that was piled on my stomach, and yes my father snapped a terrible picture of my reaction to this! haha The tech started looking at the baby fairly quickly. She took some pictures and then went right to the gender...she said ITS A BOY. She then said that is definitely a boy, no mistake! haha My reaction was oh ok and just sat in silence. My parents and sister were all like I knew we, we guessed it. I still sat there just looking at the pictures. My heart sank, I won't lie. But the more I looked at the baby and watched the tech show me his organs and where everything was I became excited. My nephew is by far amazing, so I have a pretty good chance of a son just like him!! The tech said the baby is 10 oz and looks great. She had to send pictures to my doctor to assure the baby is doing great. My doctor said everything looked great and the baby is developing just fine! :) I have a healthy baby boy!

Dara and I went shopping for the baby as soon as my appointment was over. The more I sat with I'm having a boy and looked at his pictures the boy in love I fell. I loved buying him little man clothes! He will be the best dressed baby boy this summer! Dara of course as the aunt bought him super cute things as well! :) It was so fun! And we can't wait to start creating my registry, I won't lie I already have the stroller/car seat picked out and added to my registry! Baby Boy and I will be styling as we walk down the street! haha

I have been asking for the man of my dreams for years now and I do believe I have found him. He already let's me know he loves me and is there for me. He always makes himself known to me when I need it the most. That may sound cheesy but I truly believe it. I can't wait to meet my little guy and snuggle up with him! And I can't wait to share him with my closet family and friends!! YAY IT'S A BOY!!!

IT'S A BOY!!